MYST: Birdemic: Shock and Terror

This is an actual screenshot from the movie, I wish I was kidding.

Birdemic Shock and Terror is easily one of the worst and also funniest movies I've ever seen. It's so bad in such a fantastic way it's honestly hard to explain. However I will do my best to explain this masterpiece of a film from the mastermind James Nguyen. James Nguyen was a Vietnamese immigrant who's life goal was to film a movie. Eventually he poured his entire life savings into producing Birdemic. After being rejected for a screening at the 2009 sun-dance film festival James then decided to take matters into his own hands and decided to rent a van and cover it with fake blood and eagle statues. He then drove down the main streets Park City playing Eagle sounds and humans screams as loud as he could out of the van. Somehow this genius marketing strategy actually worked and attracted the attention of many film goers and executives at the festival. This is what propelled Birdemic into the hearts of thousands of loyal fans.

The word Birdemic is spelled wrong on the posters on the van

The movie opens up with a shot from the side of the road of the main character driving to breakfast. And then the movie proceeds to show 15 to 20 more shots of the exact same car driving down the exact same road but from different angles. At this point we're 15 minutes into the film and despite there not being a single line of dialogue, you already know it's going to be awful. Even though you know the movie is going to be bad it's not until the first line of dialogue that you know exactly how bad. In the first scene in the restaurant all of the audio is cut in at  the wrong points so the audio of the characters talking doesn't actually start to the character has already started talking. Basically the audio starts mid word and at this point you are either A) laughing very loudly or B) in shock that anything THIS bad could be considered a movie. Once you've recovered from shock you'll find the rest of the movie is slightly better than the opening but, unfortunately it is only very slightly better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27g4H-yAm-w The master of Romantic Thrillers himself

From here on out it's just boring poorly edited scenes of the two main characters who sound like they have never acted before. There a bunch of REALLY forced shots of people in news casts talking about global warming and the environment as some kind of lazy reincorporation later. I give it credit that it tried to do something that resembles what an actually good movie does but it fails pretty hard. Rod sells a bunch of some kind of product and becomes a millionaire and Natalie becomes a professional model or something? The movie  tries to act like this stuff is important but it's really not, because we're are not even at the good part of the movie yet. The two main characters  are walking on the beach and they find a dead  bird and some crazy scientist tells them all the birds are sick or something. Then they go to a restaurant where possibly the greatest song of all time is played and the  main characters dance to it. They even got the guy who wrote the song to be in the scene it's great trust me. After that, the main characters go to a motel and OH NO THE BIRDS ATTACK. The scene that follows is so fantastic that I literally couldn't explain it with words luckily youtube is a thing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrxZblVUkMU As a result of this scene coat hangers became the Mascot of this movie. Still not kidding.

After this the main characters drive around in there van for a while untill they find what I can only assume is Satan's children because they are SO annoying. After this the two characters they meet outside of the motel both die in equally hilarious ways, no reason to spoil this masterpiece of a film by telling you how. They go around for a while and do a variety of stupid activites that result in people dying in hilarious and horribly edited ways. At the end of the movie he main characters of the film are on a beach with the really annoying kids, who i'm really sad haven't died yet, and then the birds just fly away into the sunset and everything is great. At this point I think everyone was too lazy to right an ending so it just sort of ended. The best part of this scene is that whoever filmed it didn't account for the sound of the ocean so literally everything in this scene is inaudible.

Make sure to get the Blu Ray.

This movie is absolutely fantastic in the worst possible way. If you like so bad that it's good movies you may have just found a new classic. I spent most of my time watching this movie on the ground laughing it was so funny. If your not a fan of these kind of movies do yourself a favor and avoid this movie at all costs. My final review of this movie is 8 M. Night Shyamalan's out of 8